This I Believe

10 Beautiful Things

6. Choice

A week ago I was asked to write an essay on the topic "This I Believe". No other guidelines, no suggestions except a word count. 500-600 words. How, I asked, can a person possibly sum up their entire belief system in 600 words? Every day we wake up and do things according to what we believe. We write essays, take stances, think, all based on the things we hold to be true. For very religious people, perhaps this is easy. They can sum up their beliefs in one word, a name, really. But what about for those people who don't know what they believe? What about those people who never thought about it in words, only in feelings and actions?

Thinking about what I believe in was the hardest thing I've ever done. I believe in so many things. I believe in people, that no matter how horrible a situation might seem, someday it will not be so horrible. That things will always get better.

I believe in beauty found both on magazine covers, and in nature. I think the only real beauty is the one we ascribe to things, to people. I believe my mother is one of the most beautiful people in the world. I believe my best friends are the most beautiful people.

I have found that there is nothing a person cannot express in words, so long as she has the right words and the right approach. Some things can't be said straight out. That's why we have books, to lead us to revelations that would never be the same when said in plain words.

All these things make up a part of my system, my philosophy. I do not believe in a God but I believe in something that we won't ever understand, some web that lies beneath the surface that no one can see or feel. I believe in things I cannot understand, and things that I never want to. But all the same, is that the most important part of my system? The belief in the unknown?

I decided that no, my greatest belief has always been the cause of all these other things. The reason that I do not believe in God, the reason that I believe in words and the mysterious: choice.

I think one of the most beautiful things is the ability to choose. A painter chooses his colors, as a writer chooses her words. A politician chooses to sign the bill, and an activist chooses to boycott a product. In the end, the force behind all of these things--even the force that compels us to give up this force--is choice. There is nothing immortal except what we choose to make so. To me, that is beautiful.

"I believe that man's noblest endowment is his capacity to change. Armed with reason, he can see two sides and choose: He can be divinely wrong. I believe in man's right to be wrong" (Allison and Gediman 19-20).

7. All of the Above

When something disappears from your life, that is when you realize what it is worth. Even the small things have the potential to mean something and mess up a sacred routine. Driving to school with a cold, I realize how sad I am that I can no longer sing in my car. I enter my first class of the day and find myself a little less cheery than normal. When I argue with my parents before leaving my house, I sit in my European history class distraught instead of getting to talk about my favorite subject. Small things in the scheme of life but so is the first bite of salad for the girl who is overweight.

Last week was a hard one. Of the many things that made it melancholy, I injured my foot. I believe it is a metatarsal fracture. Whatever it is prevented me from a weeks worth of running and not being able to participate in two meets. Then, on Friday I got sick. I almost feel like this sickness resulted from my attitude. My Labor Day weekend was one spent in my bed with the occasionally Google search or book to keep me company.

Now, I'm not trying to complain. What was a great resultant of such mishaps was something I noticed yesterday. My foot was still throbbing but I buckled up and went to cross country practice. My passion for the sport needs to constantly be re-lit and yesterday with rain drizzling on everything and band practice right after, I wasn't quite in the mood for it.

I went though with hopes that maybe, I can still succeed this season. The mood was drastically different and following through on such hopes and expectations was harder than I thought it would be on this day.

Oh, the same people were there and most were their normal selves.

Except for a friend of mine. I hesitate to put any adjective like 'good' or 'great' friend in front of my description of our relationship. I don't really know anything about him except for his best time on the cross country course. I do know that he is quite the joker and every time I go to practice, he is always talking to everyone and having a good time. He actually would bother me occasionally with punch lines taken a little to far or the occasional personal bubble invasion.

Yet, there he was, sitting on floor with his head in his hands.

I felt uncomfortable without his normal exuberance and somehow - wrong.

I didn't know what to say to him.

I don't think I would know what to say to my best friend had that been her - let alone this guy I only knew in passing.

Then you notice the small things and wonder what the heck you are doing - sitting there in air conditioning with the chance to do something.

Then when you push everyone out it is quiet the thin line between getting angry at anyone coming in or getting sentimental because they cared.

But, if you tried to do something in kindness then so be it. No one will be angry at you because you tried.

Perhaps, you did something great for someone without even realizing it.

So, keep smiling because to me, that is beautiful.