7. All of the Above

When something disappears from your life, that is when you realize what it is worth. Even the small things have the potential to mean something and mess up a sacred routine. Driving to school with a cold, I realize how sad I am that I can no longer sing in my car. I enter my first class of the day and find myself a little less cheery than normal. When I argue with my parents before leaving my house, I sit in my European history class distraught instead of getting to talk about my favorite subject. Small things in the scheme of life but so is the first bite of salad for the girl who is overweight.

Last week was a hard one. Of the many things that made it melancholy, I injured my foot. I believe it is a metatarsal fracture. Whatever it is prevented me from a weeks worth of running and not being able to participate in two meets. Then, on Friday I got sick. I almost feel like this sickness resulted from my attitude. My Labor Day weekend was one spent in my bed with the occasionally Google search or book to keep me company.

Now, I'm not trying to complain. What was a great resultant of such mishaps was something I noticed yesterday. My foot was still throbbing but I buckled up and went to cross country practice. My passion for the sport needs to constantly be re-lit and yesterday with rain drizzling on everything and band practice right after, I wasn't quite in the mood for it.

I went though with hopes that maybe, I can still succeed this season. The mood was drastically different and following through on such hopes and expectations was harder than I thought it would be on this day.

Oh, the same people were there and most were their normal selves.

Except for a friend of mine. I hesitate to put any adjective like 'good' or 'great' friend in front of my description of our relationship. I don't really know anything about him except for his best time on the cross country course. I do know that he is quite the joker and every time I go to practice, he is always talking to everyone and having a good time. He actually would bother me occasionally with punch lines taken a little to far or the occasional personal bubble invasion.

Yet, there he was, sitting on floor with his head in his hands.

I felt uncomfortable without his normal exuberance and somehow - wrong.

I didn't know what to say to him.

I don't think I would know what to say to my best friend had that been her - let alone this guy I only knew in passing.

Then you notice the small things and wonder what the heck you are doing - sitting there in air conditioning with the chance to do something.

Then when you push everyone out it is quiet the thin line between getting angry at anyone coming in or getting sentimental because they cared.

But, if you tried to do something in kindness then so be it. No one will be angry at you because you tried.

Perhaps, you did something great for someone without even realizing it.

So, keep smiling because to me, that is beautiful.